Well I answered yes to all those questions, and because of that, it had lead me to yet another world adventure where I just needed to rediscover the value of life. I just needed something new, a breath of fresh air that will lead me and settle me into what lies ahead. They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step (or somewhat along those line) and this is 1 of many steps I took.
The past year alone was probably 1 of the toughest 1's I've had for a while. So many things ran through my head as I reflected on the year that was, the things that have happened and the circumstances that have lead me to where I am. So pondering upon that, and of course speaking to my parents, it was decided, Take a break Lisa! And that's exactly what I did. I put on my Dora shoes and headed over to the land of the free, home of the brave. (I think that's how the saying goes?! Forgive me if I'm wrong)
So there I was, Although still broken, I took a chance on a break I needed to discover the value of life and love and all things beautiful. I don't know if its just me, but the world is really a beautiful place when your opened to all its glory. On my trip I didn't know what to expect, but I did know 1 thing, I wanted to find joy and the things that made my heart smile. In life we come across many things that make us smile, but it is very rare we find things that make our HEARTS smile. And 1 thing that made my heart smile again, was the love of family.
The amount of love I received from family over there was the foundation that I needed to start rebuilding. It is funny because I was meeting these people for the very first time and yet the love I was feeling was beyond anything that I could have ever imagined. It was in those moments I realized that every bit of sad emotion that we feel..... passes! It reiterates the saying "Nothing lasts forever" In my last blog I had posted that in order to heal, you need to go through the motion of it and feel it as it comes, because at the end of it all, it will surely pass and when it does, you will be a whole different person. And going away was part of the process that I needed to complete my phase.
It has now been a few months now since my world turned upside down, and now that I'm away from it all, I can now look back and see it for what it was. Toxic. Most times you don't realize how toxic and draining things can be until your away from it, until you step out of the circle and see it from the outside. Although some from the outside were telling me walk away a long time ago, I didn't. And that there was my own fault. And had I had listened to them and my doubts, I wouldn't be in the situation I am in now. I had fell away from myself so bad that trying to get her back would cost me alot... Emotionally. At one point it became crippling, in which it had me drowning myself in a pillow of tears and to this day it still happens (but not as often). Let me tell you this, it is hard trying to recover from anything emotionally crippling...
TO BE CONTINUED...
