"Too often we get so caught up on what we want others to see that we almost always forget who we really are. From there, real emotions are suppressed, lies become your 'truth' and the person you have never wanted to become is already staring you in the mirror"
These pass few weeks have been hard. I spiraled out and something in me snap. I just didn't want to talk to anyone. This battle is hard. Its hard because its tiring. Its hard because it isolates you. The dark tunnel a lot of people talk about with no light, well that's how I have been feeling these past 2 weeks. And the worst thing about it is, no one can hear me and no one can help me but me.
Being trapped in your own mind is an indescribable feeling. You just don't know whats happening to you. Everything is all jumbled up, everything is everywhere, everything is a blur and nothing is ever certain. Quality of life minimizes and then blame is thrown around. "Why god? Why me? Are you punishing me?" "I have done my service unto others, I have shown love and compassion, I have honored my parents, gave you what you required of me, so Why me?" I cannot help but be angry that I am like this. Angry that I'm losing those close to me, but most of all angry because I am loosing myself. Before life got the best of me I was in amazement with the wonders and possibilities of life. Now... I'm just over it.
Ever since I have been diagnosed with Depression, I have tried keeping myself at bay, I thought I had my emotions in check. But my mistake was leaving it and putting it in the back of my mind, when instead I should have dealt with it then and there. Because now, its all a big mess in my head and I cannot even begin to comprehend what I am going through. Its like I cannot control myself anymore.
So please, As I go through what I am going through, please do not condemn my actions, but instead-
LOVE ME PAST MY PAIN
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